Bill Cunningham | Thanksgiving

For many,has stretched into five days of festivities.

Gloria Steinem vs. Prostitution in India

Written by Svati Shah

When Gloria Steinem went to India earlier this year, she documented her trip in a series of articles in the New York Times's (NYT) India Ink column. They were full of Steinem's revelations about the existence of feminism in India, and creatively described white guilt as "sybaritic," as in "My sybaritic guilt is somewhat diminished by the fact that this ayurvedic spa pays well, and the young women seem genuinely content to be here..." It was also peppered with a perspective on prostitution in India that is not only skewed, but ends up playing into age old ideas of powerless women and oppressive men in the Global South, delivered with a twenty-first century twists (such as emphasizing how much locals participate in the anti-trafficking programs Steinem is promoting, along with frequent use of the term 'grass roots.') Now that Steinem is a signatory to a letter asking the AP Stylebook to stop using the terms ""sex work" and "sex worker" because they legitimize prostitution as a form of "work" and conceal the violent and exploitative nature of the commercial sex trade," this may be a good time to revisit Steinem's trip to India, and to review why her position on abolishing prostitution in India, and everywhere else, is problematic.

When Steinem wore a perfectly tailored sari in March at her gala 80th birthday party in in March of this year, at a celebrity event hosted by the Ms. Foundation in New York, she signaled her commitment to India in ways that underlined her closing sentence in the NYT series.

"But then, India is my life, too."

Given the press this year around Somaly Mam, a now infamous Cambodian anti-trafficking activist who received millions of dollars in grants to stop 'sex trafficking' on the basis of the lie that she had been trafficked into prostitution herself, and given the deluge of stories debating the utility of the term "trafficking" and the politics that it represents this might be a good time to look closer at what constitutes Gloria Steinem's and feminists interest in trafficking, especially in India.

The NYT series gives a glimpse of how the anti-trafficking message is being put together, with creative uses of both the age-old idea of Indian women being fundamentally oppressed, as well as a newer idea that there is a feminist movement there positioned to resolve sexism, in part by abolishing prostitution. The series chronicles Steinem's trip in India during February and March 2014 with Ruchira Gupta, the founder and director of Apne Aap, an anti-trafficking organization in India seeking to rescue girls (and women) from prostitution. This was the second of two high profile trips Steinem has made to India over the last few years. Her last trip in 2012 was also focused on spreading the message of stopping trafficking, and of repeating the conservative feminist adage that prostitution is trafficking, because how could anyone possibly consent to selling sex, under any circumstances? Feminists in India who disagreed with Steinem responded in no uncertain terms. Shohini Ghosh, a professor of mass communications and a filmmaker, wrote in the English daily The Hindu, "Gloria Steinem's "feminist approach" to trafficking and prostitution is not shared by all feminists. Many of us do not believe that abolishing sex work will stop trafficking, nor do we think that the two are synonymous."

Not only did feminists like Ghosh disagree with Steinem's take on prostitution, they also pointed to a number of facts about trading sex for money in India that Steinem got wrong. There were mistakes in the NYT series as well, the biggest one being that one of best HIV/AIDS prevention organization in Calcutta's largest red light district is "an AIDS program funded by an American private foundation pays big salaries to brothel managers and pimps to distribute condoms to customers, though there is little evidence that women have the power to make men use them." The American private foundation could refer to The Bill and Melinda Gates Foundation, the largest private foundation in the health sector, which has been funding the Durbar Mahila Samanwaya Committee, or DMSC, for years. The implication that the project is a failure is baseless, since DMSC's tactics serve as a model for other HIV/AIDS prevention projects around the world.

Steinem's series misrepresents several other ideas along the way. They include the assertion that Gayatri Spivak, a famous literary theorist and philosopher at Columbia University, 'decolonized the humanities' (despite the huge impact that Spivak has had, the humanities are still fairly 'colonized,') the southern India state of Kerala is less sexist than North India (a myth often repeated because of Kerala's high development indicators and stereotypes about sexist North Indian men), and that people in South India are descendants of indigenous 'Dravidians,' while North Indians are descendants of invading 'Aryans' who came over the Himalayas and into India (a theory that offers a handy but baseless and fully debunked explanation for why people in North India tend to have lighter skin than people in South India).

These mistakes and misrepresentations provide a context for the main point of the series, which is in showing that organizations like Apne Aap are leading the fight against trafficking in India. Steinem repeatedly calls Apne Aap a 'grass roots' organization, which would imply that it has little or no international profile, and primarily works with local people in order to run its programs. Apne Aap, like so many NGOs in India, receives funding from outside India regularly, and Gupta herself is the recipient of the 2009 Clinton Global Citizen Award. If anything, Apne Aap is part of the international trafficking industrial complex, that combination of non-governmental organizations, governments, and money that has enabled the strange rise of the idea that 'trafficking,' whatever it may be (chattel slavery, forced prostitution, any prostitution, forced labor, illegal migration, and/or debt bondage) is a universal problem requiring huge resources to resolve. The real aim of the anti-trafficking work that this complex promotes was ventriloquized by Steinem when she quotes a police officer who tells Gupta what will happen if they (Gupta, Steinem and Gupta's organization) don't stop prostitution. "Otherwise, daughters of respectable families would be in danger."

It is odd that a police officer would make this kind of statement, but not nearly as odd as Steinem's decision to quote the officer, as if to offer a key insight on trafficking from the local context. The idea that prostitution should be stopped by non-sex workers is problematic, to be sure, but the assertion that the work is ultimately being done for the sake of 'respectable families' devalues and dehumanizes people who are struggling to make ends meet. Bihar, where this police officer was interviewed, and where Steinem and Gupta spent a good deal of time talking to people with whom Apne Aap works, is a state with poor infrastructure and few resources. Bihar is one of the biggest source areas for day wage labor and construction work in India. People from Bihar become migrant workers living an extremely precarious existence because there are so few opportunities there for education and employment. When any organization, including one like Apne Aap, sets up shop to provide basic education and job training, it offers the rarest of opportunities to people who would otherwise have none, while establishing the organization's power and unique position in the area. Steinem should know all this, of course, since India is her life too.

Asking why feminists like Gloria Steinem (for whom Rutgers University is about to name a new endowed chair in media studies) are interested in abolishing prostitution in India is part of a broader question of why Western media outlets are taking a keener interest in India over the past few years? Why, for example, doesn't the NYT have a dedicated column for other countries, as well? What makes India special? That it objectively has a trafficking problem, or that it has one of the biggest consumer markets in the world and, given its pro-business and pro-surveillance politics, would make for a potentially better trading partner for the US than Brazil, China or Russia, the other three of the world's 'emerging economies'? Asking why Steinem is interested in 'sex trafficking' in India opens up a broad set of questions, including why anti-trafficking work has developed such a well-funded infrastructure so quickly. While Steinem-in-India isn't exactly a replay of the old fashioned First World mission of 'white women rescuing brown women from brown men' (as famously articulated by Gayatri Spivak), Steinem's mission is worrying, as are this generation of globalized anti-sex worker anti-"trafficking" initiatives.

Svati Shah is Assistant Professor at the University of Massachusetts Amherst and author of Street Corner Secrets: Sex, Work and Migration in the City of Mumbai (Duke University Press).

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Plus-Size Holiday Fashion: Tutus, Sequins, and Standing Out

This one is for the plus-size girls and women out there who've ever dressed to blend into the background during the holidays. Like many, I went through a period in my adolescence where I didn't like anyone to take pictures of me. Remember the days before digital or forward facing cameras? You had to pay to develop the film and wait to receive photos, only to get them and think, "Ugh, do I really look like that?" They made me wish I were invisible.

Someone once told me that you have to do what makes you scared, so that you'll never be scared again. So, somehow I became a fashion blogger.

When you're a plus-size girl, dressing up is a way of saying, "Not today, world!" I lucked out, because my coming-of-age was fortuitously aligned with the rise of on-trend, plus-size fashion. I think you can change your life one dress at a time. These days, there's no way I'd opt out of gorgeous holiday fashion, or family photos. Here are three holiday looks inspired by the beauty of this time of year.

Sweater by cushie b, Skirt by Ouma Etsy

Are you in the mood for romantic plus size fashion these holidays? This champagne-hued tutu skirt is pure love. You'll feel a little bit like Carrie Bradshaw -- minus all the character flaws -- I promise. It's a stand out party look with fancy sweaters and jackets alike. Get ready to twirl.

Dress from ASOS, Heels from J Crew

A sequin shift is a bold choice for plus sizes, and a fun one to wear. This look was inspired by the lights of the season. I love those big bright bulbs -- the glass ones that are apparently too dangerous now. LED lights just don't compare. This dress is somewhere between copper and rose gold, and would be an unexpected choice for New Year's Eve.

Jumpsuit: ASOS, Coat: Melissa Masse

Minimalist fashion is all over runways and magazines, so I wanted to do a holiday version of this trend in plus-size. I was able to do it with gorgeous tweed coat with metallic threads running throughout. For this day, I wore it over a black jumpsuit and tried to think Kim Kardashian thoughts. It's the kind of coat that will help you make an entrance at all the parties.

May all your selfies be perfect and may all your holidays be bright.

You can follow my carefully curated shots which make my life seem much more beautiful than it really is on Instagram @pinklip. Or check out my fashion blog

44 Seconds Of A New Madonna Song Leaked Online

Rumors about a new Madonna album have been circulating for months. On Thursday, more evidence of a forthcoming record arrived, as 44-seconds of a track purportedly called "Rebel Heart" leaked online. (Madonna repeats the phrase "Rebel Heart" at the beginning of the clip.)

Release of the song snippet, which sounds like it was recorded off a speaker, was not sanctioned by Madonna's management. Here's Guy Oseary, Madonna's manager:

I would be grateful to any @madonna fans that can assist us in finding those responsible for the leak.. We appreciate your help..

— Guy Oseary (@guyoseary) November 28, 2014

As Billboard noted, the track could be a collaboration between Madonna and Avicii, as she had posted a photo to Instagram featuring the producer and DJ with the hashtag "#rebelheart" nine months ago. Or maybe that's the name of the possible album: Madonna has used the "#rebelheart" hashtag on many photos, including one from earlier this month of Chance the Rapper.

For more, head to TheWrap.

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Flight Attendant Serenades Passengers With ‘Royals,’ Wins Praise From Lorde Herself

In-flight entertainment? Flight attendant Robynn Shayne’s got you covered.

Shayne, who reportedly works for American Airlines, recently wowed passengers during a flight when she began performing a stellar rendition of Lorde's hit song, “Royals.”

“On a lovely winter day I came across my coworker Robynn who I noticed was carrying a guitar with her on our trip,” said YouTuber Nick Stracener, who uploaded this clip online Sunday. “I then asked her if she played and she said she loves to play and sing. Then this happened.”

Stracener’s video has since racked up more 60,000 views, winning praise from all corners of the Internet -- and even from Lorde herself.

“Robynn, I love you,” the 18-year-old singer wrote on Twitter Thursday.

“Love ya back!” a thrilled Shayne responded.

According to her website, Shayne -- who lives in Austin, Texas -- is a musician. She released a self-titled EP in 2012.

The Female Farmer Project: A Pictorial

The Female Farmer Project was published earlier this month. This pictorial depicts some of the stories that Audra and I felt also needed to be shared.

All Images Copyright Audra Gaines Mulkern


Liz of Bushy Tail Farm used to spend her days in a lab as a research biologist in Boston. After deciding that her definitions of success did not map with a career in science, she moved to North Carolina to farm her family's 200 year-old homestead.


Farming is a life that Suzanne approaches each day with as much careful thought, passion and energy as she did Capitol Hill days as a journalist. She now dedicates those ideas and ideals to changing the world one seed, one animal at a time at her farm, Cozi Farms in North Carolina.


Lynn of Glendale Shepherd spent her young adult life as an artist, exhibiting her work in galleries - but this 4th generation dairy farmer seemed to have animal husbandry in her blood. She now brings her artistic and farming lives together producing beautiful sheep wool yarn and sheep milk cheese.


As Chief Agricultural Officer of Gotham Greens, Jennifer has designed a sustainable business model around a sustainable farming system of year-round fresh produce for the urban consumer. Currently operating two rooftop hydroponic greenhouses in New York City, she is set to open two more next year, in Queens and Chicago.


As one of the original organic farmers in Western Washington, Michaele of Growing Things Farm broke a lot of grass ceilings in her journey to create a sustainable farm and life. She has trained numerous interns to go on to farm around the country and developed a methodology that incorporates weeds as a natural beneficiary.


In Iceland, where Icelandic Sheep are part of the agriculture foundation and known the world over for its exceptional meat and wool -- Johanna instead breeds the rare and endangered Icelandic Goat. Having left her career as a nurse to save the breed, she is currently the only commercial goat farm in Iceland.


Helsing Junction Farm owned and operated by Annie and Sue (not pictured) boasts a 1200 person CSA membership along with their numerous restaurants and commercial accounts. They are also dedicated to providing the best possible food to a local farm-to-school lunch program and the food-bank gleaning program.


Marion of Les Sourciers Hydroponic Farm is a former young executive with a major car company who left Argentina to start a business in France. Bucking agriculture trends and shaking things up, Marion is providing year-round culinary herbs and hard to find vegetables for the chefs in the Gers, (southwest France) and area known for its gastronomy.


Jennifer is the oldest sister and farm manager of the 800 acre 3 Sisters Family Farm. She put her degree and career in criminal justice aside to return to the family farm as the 5th generation to raise cattle, pigs and sheep.

Ray Rice Wins Appeal, Suspension Vacated Immediately

NEW YORK (AP) — Ray Rice has won the appeal of his indefinite suspension by the NFL.

An arbitrator ruled Friday that his suspension for punching his fiancee, now his wife, should be vacated immediately. The NFL said Rice, a free agent, is "eligible to play upon signing a new contract."

Former U.S. District Judge Barbara S. Jones said Commissioner Roger Goodell's decision in September to change Rice's original suspension from two games to indefinite was "arbitrary" and an "abuse of discretion."

Jones was deciding whether the NFL overstepped its authority in modifying Rice's two-game suspension after video of the Baltimore Ravens running back punching Janay became public.

Rice was released by the Ravens when the video went public. Rice and the union contended he was essentially sentenced twice, and Jones agreed.

She noted in her decision that after Goodell increased the punishment for a first offense under the personal conduct policy from two to six games, "the commissioner called Rice to assure him that the new policy would not affect him — that it was forward-looking and his penalty would not be increased."

In her decision, Jones also wrote:

"Because Rice did not mislead the commissioner and because there were no new facts on which the commissioner could base his increased suspension, I find that the imposition of the indefinite suspension was arbitrary. I therefore vacate the second penalty imposed on Rice.

"The provisions of the first discipline — those regarding making continued use of counseling and other professional services, having no further involvement with law enforcement, and not committing any additional violations of league policies — still stand."

The NFL said it accepted the decision.

"We respect Judge Jones's decision to reinstate Ray Rice from his indefinite suspension for violating the league's personal conduct policy in an incident of domestic violence," spokesman Greg Aiello said in an email to The Associated Press.

"Ray Rice is a free agent and has been eligible to be signed by an NFL team since he was released by the Ravens. Based on Judge Jones' decision, he will be eligible to play upon signing a new contract."

Goodell and the Rices testified at the hearing, as did NFL security chief Jeffrey Miller and Ravens general manager Ozzie Newsome. During his appearance, Goodell told Jones: "I do accept that I have to be consistent with consistent circumstances, and ... I think that's about fairness, and fairness would be, you should be as consistent as possible in your discipline."

The NFL Players Association claimed a "victory for a disciplinary process that is fair and transparent" in a statement. The union called again for collective bargaining to produce a new personal conduct policy.

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Photographer Amy Goalen Introduces Us To The ‘Masculine Side Of Yoga’

They downward dog. They warrior pose. They most certainly chaturanga. These are the zenned-out men of yoga, brought to you by photographer Amy Goalen.

Goalen started a steady yoga practice in Los Angeles a few years ago, which subsequently inspired the Los Angeles-based artist to create a yoga photography series. While researching for the project, she came upon a realization: while there were plentiful images of women engaging in the practice, men were actually quite unrepresented. Hence "Inside the Warrior -- the Masculine Side of Yoga" was born.


Goalen soon teamed up with writer and devoted yogi Julian DeVoe for the project; she took photos, he interviewed the subjects on their relationship to the ancient art. "I tell everyone 'You don't have to be 25 and ripped to be photographed by me,'" Goalen said to The Huffington Post. "I want to photograph men with a dedicated practice. Period."

Working in both black-and-white and color, Goalen captures a variety of male subjects striking a (yoga) pose, their minds, bodies and spirits immortalized in a single moment of peaceful athleticism. You can watch the body assume shapes that border on surreal, stretching and bending like a work of human origami. Yet beyond the men's bodies, Goalen captures something deeper, what she calls the "soul of a yogi," the "depth of heart, sensitivity, courage, integrity, and a self-awareness that comes through." Take a look for yourself in the photos below.

Surreal Photos Explore Why Women Often Wrap Up Their Identity In Their Hair

There is a very complex relationship between a woman and her hair. The protein filaments that sprout from our scalps somehow become emblematic of a woman's identity, as if vital secrets were wrapped in every strand. We spend valuable time and money primping our coiffures as if they had the uncanny ability to transmit messages to strangers. And yet hairs on legs, tummies, pits and toes are often deemed grotesque and removed immediately.

Why is there such a strange code of conduct around a lady's mane? That's exactly what photographer Rebecca Drolen chose to explore in her surreal black-and-white series aptly dubbed "Hair Parts."


"For many years, I have been a person who is recognizable by my long and somewhat wild hair," Drolen explained to The Huffington Post. "My series, 'Hair Pieces,' began with some self-reflection and essentially laughing at myself as I wondered why or how I wrap up so much of my sense of identity in my looks, specifically my hair."

"The first image was made when I found a braided ponytail that I had cut off years earlier with intention of donating. For whatever reason, I thought…I can use this! I fashioned the braid into a necktie, put on a short wig, and made the first image of the series, 'Hair Tie.' The image is one part liberating and two parts manic. I loved the notion of telling an ambiguous story with only the figure and their interaction with hair as the contents of the frame."


Drolen's photos provide an otherworldly glimpse at the peculiar role hair plays in our daily lives. Some photos examine what hair is acceptable (eyelashes), desirable (ponytail) and deplorable (armpits). Some resemble wonky fashion editorials while others feel like Cousin Itt's head shots. The minimalist images capture the paradoxical nature of these peculiar fibers -- at once attractive and repulsive, part of our bodies and yet not.

"I entered making this work with a sense of fascination that hair is both beautiful and repulsive in our culture. The fragile influence of context is its only distinction. We see long hair on a woman as a symbol of beauty and femininity, but as soon as the hair is cut or removed the body, we think of it as unsanitary and strange. Likewise, we seem to never have enough hair in the places we want it, and too much hair in the places that we don’t want it to be!"

The dreamlike images -- at once playful and critical -- capture the strange and contradictory roles hair plays in our lives. Think about them next time you whip out your razor.

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Early Black Friday rush less frantic at Valley stores this year …

17 Literary Quotes About The Joy Of Walking

Thoreau may have been the literary world’s poster boy for walks. His passion for walking complemented his general valorization of nature; to truly experience the woods is to ramble through them rather than to remain cooped up indoors or to speed through them on a horse or other means of conveyance. As Maria Popova of Brain Pickings recently noted, “Thoreau is careful to point out that the walking he extols has nothing to do with transportational utility or physical exercise -- rather it is a spiritual endeavor undertaken for its own sake.”

Sure, but Thoreau is the hippie of literature -- of course he thought everyone should walk around ponds all day. Many other classic literary figures were also strong proponents of strolling, however -- not just the tree-hugging Thoreau. He is joined by brilliant writers including Friedrich Nietzsche, C.S. Lewis and acclaimed author and essayist Rebecca Solnit, who have all commented on the value of a satisfying saunter. Even those who haven’t explicitly extolled walking as exercise frequently endorse it indirectly. The role of the flaneur in literature, post-Flaubert, is ubiquitous. From Virginia Woolf to Teju Cole, great authors capture life by narrating walks through it.

Recent studies suggest that walking bolsters creativity, retroactively validating the musings of many classic writers who have enumerated the mental and spiritual rewards of walking. This practical angle may be reason enough to head for the hills, but even if no great insights arise, these authors remind us that strolling through the world and experiencing its sights is reward enough in itself. Even in Thoreau’s time, authors spoke yearningly of walks as a way to escape daily demands and the clamor of the city. How much more do we need this escape today, when our work frequently follows us home in the form of email pings, and when our idea of relaxation too-frequently involves more time in front of a screen?

Here are 17 eloquent literary quotes that remind us of the simple, restorative power of a good walk:

"I only went out for a walk and finally concluded to stay out till sundown, for going out, I found, was really going in." -- John Muir

“Now shall I walk or shall I ride?
'Ride,' Pleasure said;
'Walk,' Joy replied.” -- W.H. Davies

walking feet

“To walk is to lack a place. It is the indefinite process of being absent and in search of a proper.” -- Michel de Certeau

"If I couldn't walk fast and far, I should just explode and perish." -- Charles Dickens

“Only thoughts won by walking are valuable.” -- Friedrich Nietzsche

walking nature

"Walking and talking are two very great pleasures, but it is a mistake to combine them. Our own noise blots out the sounds and silences of the outdoor world; and talking leads almost inevitably to smoking, and then farewell to nature as far as one of our senses is concerned. The only friend to walk with is one... who so exactly shares your taste for each mood of the countryside that a glance, a halt, or at most a nudge, is enough to assure us that the pleasure is shared.” -- C.S. Lewis

“I am alarmed when it happens that I have walked a mile into the woods bodily, without getting there in spirit.” -- Henry David Thoreau

“After a day's walk everything has twice its usual value.” -- George Macauley Trevelyan

walking quay

“I would walk along the quais when I had finished work or when I was trying to think something out. It was easier to think if I was walking and doing something or seeing people doing something that they understood.” -- Ernest Hemingway

“I find more pleasure in wandering the fields than in musing among my silent neighbours who are insensible to everything but toiling and talking of it and that to no purpose.” -- John Clare

“We ought to take outdoor walks, to refresh and raise our spirits by deep breathing in the open air.” -- Seneca

walking feet nature

“I always feel so sorry for women who don't like to walk; they miss so much -- so many rare little glimpses of life; and we women learn so little of life on the whole.” -- Kate Chopin

“Thinking is generally thought of as doing nothing in a production-oriented culture, and doing nothing is hard to do. It's best done by disguising it as doing something, and the something closest to doing nothing is walking.” -- Rebecca Solnit

“Above all, do not lose your desire to walk: every day I walk myself into a state of well-being and walk away from every illness; I have walked myself into my best thoughts and I know of no thought so burdensome that one cannot walk away from it.” -- Søren Kierkegaard

walking feet nature

the truth depends on a walk around a lake.” -- Wallace Stevens

“Walks. The body advances, while the mind flutters around it like a bird.” -- Jules Renard

"[Walking] is the perfect way of moving if you want to see into the life of things. It is the one way of freedom. If you go to a place on anything but your own feet you are taken there too fast, and miss a thousand delicate joys that were waiting for you by the wayside.” -- Elizabeth von Arnim

‘Star Wars: The Force Awakens’ Trailer Has Arisen

"There's been an awakening. Have you felt it?" A billion years in the making, here's the first trailer for "Star Wars: The Force Awakens."

The J.J. Abrams film stars John Boyega, Daisy Ridley, Adam Driver, Lupita Nyong'o, Oscar Isaac, Domhnall Gleeson, Max von Sydow, Andy Serkis, Gwendoline Christie and original trilogy cast members Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill and Carrie Fisher. Boyega (in full Stormtrooper armor!) and Ridley are glimpsed for the first time in the "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" trailer, which utilizes John Williams' signature "Star Wars" theme to great effect. The Millennium Falcon is there too.

Abrams and Lucasfilm made waves last week when it was revealed that the first trailer would debut in select theaters around the country on Nov. 28. On Wednesday, Team "Star Wars" announced that the trailer would also be available online for those who didn't want to make a trek out to their local multiplex. The Force is strong with this marketing campaign. "Star Wars: The Force Awakens" is out on Dec. 18, 2015.

RELATED: 6 Big Takeaways From The 'Star Wars: The Force Awakens' Trailer

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Thanksgiving: It’s Not Just About the Food!

Although Thanksgiving is supposed to be a happy day filled with delicious food and loved ones, it has over the years garnered a reputation of the most anxiety-provoking holiday. For a person in the midst of a struggle with an eating disorder, it is a pure living hell. People joke about loosening belts after the big meal and going on diets before the big day, but for victims of the disease, these jokes can be life-threatening.

If food is your largest cause of anxiety, having an entire day focused entirely upon that subject feels like entering a bad dream. Some scenarios that I remember -- people constantly prodding me to try their appetizers and dishes in order to get me to eat, family members that I have not seen for awhile commenting on my change in weight, pushing food around on my plate or hiding it in napkins, giving in to the peer pressure of a holiday binge and then later purging as a result of the discomfort, and many more. The best Thanksgiving memory I had in the past decade was, believe it or not, in an eating disorder treatment center. At this treatment center, everything we ate was portioned out so we had no choice in the matter, and this loss of choice actually relieved the stress because we could then just devote our entire brainpower on each other's good company and conversation. Today, I am determined to have my first good Thanksgiving in 10 years -- out of a treatment center and surrounded by family and friends using the tips that I have created.

1) Refocus the holiday upon its original meaning -- giving thanks. Make a list of the things in your life that you are thankful for, and when anxiety clouds your mind, pull out the list.

2) Treat the meal as any other meal. Put a reasonable amount of food on your plate, and when you are full, stop eating. Do not feel obligated to make yourself sick to your stomach just because that is what our society has characterized it to be.

3) Redirect the conversation to things other than body image. When people have not seen each other for awhile, it is a common conversation starter to talk about appearances, such as "You look great! Did you lose some weight?" These conversations are very triggering during recovery. When you hear this, try to stop and refocus the conversation with a simple, "Thank you, I have been focusing on my health." Then redirect the conversation to something else, such as ,"How has your new job been?"

4) The aftermath -- don't try and fix things the next day. Even if the day did not go as planned, do not punish yourself the next day by trying to go on a Thanksgiving day diet or begin a strenuous workout plan. Every day is a fresh start.

I hope this helps. Happy Thanksgiving!

Shanina Shaik sticks to fish and veggies ahead of the Victoria’s …

Daily Telegraph Australia - Found 12 hours ago
AUSTRALIAN model Shanina Shaik stuck to her diet of fish and veg during Thanksgiving ahead of the London show for Victoria’s Secret.
- Brisbane Courier-Mail
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T Magazine: The Daily Gift: Pencils With a Personal Touch

Each day until Christmas, the editors of T share a new holiday gift idea.

The 6 Most Popular Mother-In-Law Names


We polled Facebook, and found that your kids-by-marriage generally stick to one of six categories—for better or worse. What's yours?

#1: "Grandma"
These DILs and SILs are family oriented and recognize your biggest contribution to their lives: being a magnificent grandparent to their adorable kids! And judging from the responses, this nickname seems to work out well for all parties.

My SIL calls me GeGe, that's what the grandbabies call me! — Fran C.

I'm Grammy since the grands. Or Ma when she needs to address me. — Kimberly M.

Mostly it's Nana and I call her mommy!!! — Esther S.

#2: [Insert First Name]
Most mothers-in-law we heard from take kindly to being called by their first name. It's familiar and friendly and creates a nice, level playing field for the relationship. As many readers point out, their kids by marriage already have a mother and father, so no harm, no foul.

My daughters-in-law call me by my name. They have moms—I am not here to take their place. I am their friend. — Shelley H.

I am Rita to all of them. I hated calling my mother in law Mrs Martinez. I am very close to all my in laws because I didn't force them to call me mom or Mrs Martinez. — Rita M.

All of them call us by our first names. I called my MIL Mom before I ever married my husband. — Gleneva L.

#3: LOL
Whether they're born of inside jokes or gentle ribbing, these nicknames have a high laugh factor, signaling a relationship that feels playful—if not completely conflict-free.

Your highness. — Adelaide G.

She calls me Midget most of the time. — Karin M.

Fossil... — Trudy F.

#4: Sweet As Pie
The envy of parents and children everywhere, these in-law pairs have beat the system and found true love twice in one family: their betrothed, plus parents-in-law they can't live without! You're close enough that first names—not even "Mom and Dad"—will do, so these affectionate new family members go their own nickname road.

I'm Milly or my first name. Husband is Pil. Love those guys. I'm one of the lucky mums-in-law. We call them Dilly + Silly. — Dawne W.

Mother-in-love.....and I adore my sweet daughters-in-loves so much... — Carmen B.

My daughter affectionately calls me Margy, then my SIL's name for me on his mobile is The Magilator. — Sue S.

#5: Uh-Oh
We hate to say it, but this nickname category spells trouble for your relationship... but you probably knew that already. That said, you're still communicating which means there's still hope—and at least a kernel of affection.

Probably witch. — Mary H.

To my face or behind my back? — Carol P.

His pain-in-law. Lol — Mary Ann G.

Old man. —Harold O.

I would imagine she calls me a crazy old lady who won't stay out of her business but it is her decision. — Dianna H.

#6: Nothing
Frankly, this nickname category leaves us cold. Nothing? Sons- and daughters-in-law don't need to be your new best friends, but you share two generations of relations. Something's gotta give in this nickname no man's land!

Our SIL calls us mom & dad but my DIL doesn't call us anything. 12 years married to our son and if she needs to talk to us, she waits for us to look at her. — Marilyn T.

Nothing if possible lol......he has called me by my first name on occasion, but not a lot. He has been my SIL almost 20 years, too. — Debe E.

DIL calls me by my first name. SIL calls me nothing. He avoids calling my name and its been six years!!!? — Pamela A.

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